LaWendeltreppe

Wishcasting on September, 21 2011

2011-09-20T23:32:00.000-07:00

What do you wish to immerse yourself in?

Ha, I had to look up the word "immerse". And I like what it means. Which leads me to the first thing, I really want to immerse in:

The English language

Ok, I am doing this since I am 10 and I am doing this in a big way since 2 years and I am now leading -thanks to www- a really bilingual life.
But there are so many many things to discover, alle these words and expressions, the tricks and games, it's so much fun to learn a language, to open more and more doors.

Sometimes it leads me to really spiritual experiences with words.
I stumbled over the word: coconspirators lately.
Not knowing the word conspirators, I read cocon-spirators. And I thought: oh cocon might be the American way of writing "cocoon". And spirators has somethings to do with spirit. So I had this image in my head of someone who wraps you in a cocoon of spiritual thigs or just of a certain kind of spirit.
Lovely! Language does get more sensual this way.

Another thing is

music

Staying in the image of the cocoon, I love to wrap myself up in good music. And thanks to www, the juke box filled with EVERYTHING is open day and night! :) How great is that!

Have a joyful day today, hope your wishes all come true! xox

LaWendula

Wishcasting Wednesday "What do you wish to try?"

2011-07-19T23:17:00.000-07:00

Just now –as almost always- I am longing so much for being somewhere else.
I am one of many people who feel they have chosen the wrong country for their birth. What am I doing here in Germany, the most square headed country in the world?!
Where (I am quoting a David Sylvian song here)
„everythings neat and compact
and not much to shout about
but winter is breaking inside of me“.

And in my head and heart I am long for a place with wild, warm, laughing energy, filled with inspiration and a beautiful language, a land with an easy going flow...
(Where ever that may be- haha.)

BUT, I am here now. As I have not managed to live in another country yet, I will TRY to see the place I live in with other eyes.
It’s nice here. I have a house of my own. It’s old and full of mistakes, but it has a nice personality. It gives me peace.
It’s my base camp for dreams that go out in the world. Here is the place my daughter has lived for nearly her whole life. This place holds the story of a little girl growing up very close to nature.
I live on land, no neighbours, I am totally free to do whatever I want and my daughter too. I have chosen that for now. And maybe one day (and this is my wish) I will manage to live in London for a while, in New York City or Melbourne, in an inspiring city or in a beautiful landscape with nice people all around me.

For now I try to be grateful for what I have.

What do you wish for the world?

2011-03-16T03:16:00.000-07:00

OMG, I haven't been here for ages!

But now I am back.

Back to wishcasting wednesday with the question: What do you wish for the world?

I think, in the last days, we all have felt how fragile our civilisation is. We all depend on energy and we use far too much from it.
As you may have heard, Germany has switched off 7 nucelar power stations, after they have told us only a few weeks ago, they are completely safe. But elections are coming and this is not politicans being concerned about the people in their county, but about being elected.
Oh yes, Angela Merkel, she is a woman. But she is not a mother. And it seems she has lost all her womanly wisdom. (Or had never had it)
I wish for the world, that we have more politicians, that are mothers too, caring mothers, daughters of mother earth, equipped with their full senses and willing to stop this madness.
Because civilisation as we know it now is madness.
We put nuclear power stations on earthquaking ground. We do not care. We exploit all our ressorces. We do not care. We tread the earth, as if we had a second one in the trunk. (Who said that? I can't remember now, but it's a famous quote from the 80's)

I think Japan is a wake-up call for everyone. Let's take it to heart!

Wishcasting: What do you want to shed?

2010-10-27T07:02:00.000-07:00

Wishcasting Wednesday

I always loved this line „sometimes you have to shed your skin to save it“. It’s from the book „Kissing the witch“ by Emma Donoghue.

Maybe it’s what I want: to shed my skin. Just leave all this (what ever all this is) behind und start anew.
Leave this boring grey country, that never was my own. Really, Germany, the most boring and grey country in the world. Leave this body, that seems to be more a challenge then a temple. And leave that old me behind and become a new one.
Ok, allright, I know, this is too much, it’s over the top. We all have to...have to what...be modest, oh come on!
I wanna shed my skin to save it. It sounds thrilling good. I know it’s what woman always do, with each moon blood, which each step further to ourselves and whenever we reclaim something that belonged to us since such a long time!

(Picture from Flick, please click for credits)

Happiness on a Friday (5-7-2010)

2010-05-07T00:34:00.000-07:00

OMG, I haven’t been here for such a long time. But now it’s time to share my happiness.

So here is a list of my happy things:

The little squint that babies‘ eyes have
Goat milk soap
Sitting in the garden, plucking the wool for spinning it afterwards

Books and/or pencils with a smell
To cite from a book or film and your partner knows „It’s from....“
The word paloma which means dove and this song from the movie „Hable con ella- Talk to her“

Being tucked right in
Brown wrapping paper
Sitting in the sun with eyes closed
The Icelandics saying „bless, bless“ when they mean „good bye“
Skylarks

Happy Friday- 3-19

2010-03-19T01:39:00.000-07:00

Today it’s a song I would like to share with you as my happiness.
It’s one of the most beautifuls songs I have ever listened to.
It’s by a band called "Madredeus" from Portugal.

A friend of mine made this video out of the photos he has taken for which I wrote poems two years ago.
So please enjoy both. But be careful, this voice really will drive you to tears.

A happy week to everyone!

Wishcasting 3-17-2010

2010-03-17T00:14:00.000-07:00

What do you wish to pay attention to?

My entry today is about love.
It’s how deep my hunger is for being loved just as I am, not for the things I do or if I behave like one wants to have me.

I wish to pay attention to just be and be loved therefore.
No obligations to become somebody else.
I want somebody I can met eye to eye.
Who feels the same.
Who wants to live with his whole heart.
Who sees ME and not what I should be.

I wish to pay attention to the symbols in my life, that show me where I stand.

I wish to pay attention to be a good role model for my daughter.
The woman who cherishes her own feminity, her own womanly wisdom, not the one who is always stretching to fit in.
I know I am paying attention to the things my daughter can teach me. I see myself mirrored in her. She is so strong, so deep, so full of wonders, so down to earth.

I wish to pay attention not to leave the path, every woman should stay on:
Self respect
Love and self love
Inner work
Freedom (and letting go)
Connection
Going with the flow

I wish to pay attention, that my hunger for being loved never makes me leave this womanly path.

Thanks for reading.
LaWendula

Happy Friday- 3-5

2010-03-05T00:40:00.000-08:00

There are not many things that make me more happy than flourishing art projects and starting another one.

The Collage Box Project is both: #1 is flourishing and everybody loves it! And #2 has started yesterday due to so many requests I have got.

So if you wish to play along, please sign in quickly!

Let's see what else is in my little book of happiness, that I want to share with you:

-The last leaf in autumn that hangs on a tree, copes with all winter storms and is still there in spring, full brown, always mistaken for a sparrow
-The expression "You've got me pegged", because I always have the vision of someone hanging on the clothline then :)
-String games with their lovely name's: Cat's cradle, Jacob's ladder etc.
-Stacker rings
-The Shaker Quote: "Handicraft is worship"
-French words in books about textile and handcraft like petit-point, voile, georgette, that sound like names of fairies or women in old dresses from centuries ago
-Mini books for your purse
-Votive candles flickering in a half-light
-Knots and knot-magic
-Ex Libris Sticker or Stamps for your books
-Children explaining their drawings
-Finding the one and only perfect huge feather in the grass

Happy Friday, 2-26

2010-02-25T22:44:00.000-08:00

Found this on Flickr. Rainbow colors always make me happy.

Waldorf Art does too.

More little blisses for you:

Things with a coffee taste, that are not coffee (chocolate, ice cream, milk shakes, candys)
Teddy bears with „damages“ (an ear or eye missing, worn out fur etc.) which show who loved they are
A kind word to people you only meet once
Dairy products
Pennant chains, selfmade and colorful
The first kiss
Masu (that little wooden squares to drink sake from)
Salt in little open bowls
Walt Whitman poems
Wandering through the a big city just before dawn, where everybody’s sleeping
Belgian waffle crisps
Children making little zines and selling them in the neighbourhood for a few cents (and people that give them a whole dollar/euro for them)
„The flower of life“ (Sacred geometry)

Wishing you all a very happy week!

My Happy Friday 2-19

2010-02-18T23:36:00.000-08:00

„Cherish your dreams and tiny blisses as they are the children of your soul...“
(I altered this quote a bit)

From my little "Happy book":

Spirals
A gigantic sky full of stars
Sel gris (that’s the salt from La Bretagne in France)
Vellum
Knitting needles made out of old music instruments
Little honey jars
Kid’s tongue tips coming out of their mouths when writing or drawing
Going barefoot the whole day
Viewing your favorite movies for the 1000th time
The Lego parrot of my daughter, called „sea cucumber“
Letterpress
Fair trade
Khol kajal
Mini Books
„Somebody loves me, I wonder who...“ (by George Gershwin)
Shaker boxes

Photo: Flickr

Happiness 12.2.

2010-02-11T21:55:00.000-08:00

Happiness?
I am not very happy at the moment. This long winter is dreadful. Haven’t seen the sun since such a long time. It’s nothing but snow since more than 6 weeks now. We have never experienced that before.
I once thought about moving to Norway, but I now know I cannot stand such endless dark, snowy winter days. Not a single touch of spring. One snow storm after the other. Thick blogs of iced snow everywhere. And the heating costs are rising and rising...

But some things have made me happy this week though:

The start of my new project „The Collage Box“

And how happy everyone is with the art projects I am hosting.

Getting things from my Paper Swap Partner Patty:

Spinning and knitting

And my little book of happiness makes these suggestions for little treasures in every day life:

Going through town, not for shopping, but looking for art material
Things, that are sweet and salty at the same time
Fictive books in films or books (like „Are you your mother?“ in „You’ve got mail“)
English gardentools
Violet candy
Children, who say „please“ and „thanks“
When something that happens feels/looks like it was right out of a movie
Dancing wild to loud music with the window open all alone in your room
Rescuing insects (bugs on their backs or bees in the rain barrel)
„Free hugs“
Bookmarks
Pictures by Edward Hopper

So let’s all hope and pray that this winter will end soon soon soon....

Where do you wish to travel?

2010-02-10T00:02:00.000-08:00

First I must say, that I haven’t travelled for a long time. First because I have got my daughter and bought an old house, both so much work and so many costs, there is not much left for travelling. And it has become so expensive (patrol prizes rising and rising) and after the „death“ or our beloved mobile home (an old post bus), it’s much more difficult.
We did some wonderful journeys in the end-ninetie’s, drove all the way through the Netherlands, Belgium, France and Spain till we have the most beautiful view on Africa. It’s a magical place: there the Mediterranian Sea meets the Atlantic and Europe ends and a new continent is calling. I love Andalusia!

And I love being in London. This is my favorite city. It feels like home.

Ok, ok, I KNOW it’s like all Americans want to travel to Paris, everyone in Germany wants to see New York. And me too. I don’t know why, maybe to jump right into a huge melting pot of all kinds of art, inspirations and interesting places. To see something that’s completely different to my monastic life here (I’m living in a small house on land, miles and miles away from big cities). An maybe to visit dear (blog-)friends.

Another place on my bucket list is Mexico, because of the lively feminine culture there. The Tehuana women and their beautiful dresses, the Morenita, flowers, the sun, the language, the beautiful people. But I think, it will be hard to cope with all the poverty and violence there.

Violence is also the thing in NY I am afraid of. I’m not used to people carrying weapons with them (although Berlin has become a strange and hard city too, but that’s peanuts against NY, I think).

I know I will make it to NY one day. It’s a simple call, that will come to me, when the time is right.

The happy book: Friday, January, 5

2010-02-04T22:24:00.000-08:00

What has made me happy this week?

The start of my new project

And here some other things from my little „Book of bliss“:

Coincidences
Summer wind in my hair
Hugs and kisses oxox
Ciphers
Sand dunes
Stones with a hole (called Chicken Gods in Germany)
Envelopes made from old maps
English poetry
Hemp yarn
Limited editions
Trying new knitting patterns
Sealing wax
Huge smiles
Laces from Brussell
Olive oil
Lampions
La Morenita
Fountain pens
A circle of people holding hands
Double exposure

Wishing you all a very happy week!

Wishcasting Wednesday: What story do you wish to live or let go of?

2010-02-02T22:21:00.000-08:00

We all know this wonderful term HERSTORY (and I am glad, that I can use this now without explaining ;)). I think it’s most important for every woman to tell, write down und share her own story.
I love life’s stories. I love to hear how people made their ways and to see the red thread in it, the hidden guidance in destiny.

Yesterday I was reading „Lean forward into your life“ by Mary Anne Radmacher and I came to the sentence: „Life experiences draw certain subtleties for us.“ I read: „Life experiences draw certain SUBTITLES for us.“
And I think it’s true! Our lives and our stories are sometimes like foreign films. Who does not know the thought: „I just want to know what this all means!!!“ (or as Robin Norwood wrote: „Why this? Why me? Why now?)
It’s our experience, that makes the subtitles.

So I wish to read more of my life’s subtitles and help other women to recognize and explore there’s. For then all our herstories will lead us to bigger, brighter lives! And there's nothing like a woman living her own story with deep self-respect and grace.

(Digital collages: click on pic to see credits.)

The happy book: January, 29

2010-01-29T03:26:00.001-08:00

Besides this lovely picture from Flickr (click to see credits), that makes me happy, I am still reading this Barbara Anne Kipler Book „14.000 things to be happy about“ and had a good laugh sometimes, because she also mentioned strange things like waiting for a bus or icecubes in a coke. ;)

I started my own little happy book to record the small blisses of every day and I was amazed how quick it is to be filled.

Here are some of the things I wrote down:

The smell of sage
The very first small crecent moon after darkmoon
Men who cook
Using pictures from paper napkins in collages
Yummy yarn colors

Seeing roes on white winter fields
Bonnets
Dew drops in cobwebs
The Tate Gallery in London
The lovely sound silver bracelets make, when you move your arms
To watch foreign films and forget to switch on subtitels and then notice, you have understood everything
Coffee table books
Shea butter
Think about someone and then the phone rings...
Drinking from a well
Weathered book pages
Trying a new sort of chocolate in your health food store and say „ahhhhhh“ while all the heads turn

Stay happy all you blissers, gleers, mirthers and gigglers!

The Happy Book: January, 22

2010-01-22T03:29:00.000-08:00

Now the Happy book has started, in fact already a week ago.
I’m glad to be a part of the bliss circle, (what is the difference between happiness, bliss and joy? I will never understand the English language ;)).

One of the most touching songs about bliss is this one from the svedish movie: „As it is in heaven.“
This woman has been beaten by her husband and she now reclaims not only her voice, but also her BLISS.

And speaking of finding your own voice, here what gives me a bliss feeling last week:

1. Listening to C.P.Estes „Women who run with wolves“ which I read 15 years ago and recognize, that I really have gone a long, successfull way to gather my bones, find my own voice and be very proud to be a woman.
2. Having a dark moon celebration with my daughter and passing on female knowledge.
3. Having Seth as my paper swap partner and receiving a most wonderful package of cards and papers.
4. Buying a new camera, that makes great pictures.
5. Listening to great music, like this and making collages.
6. Browsing through Flickr Favs from others.
7. Having a long telephone talk with my friend in Amsterdam.
8. Being part of the most wonderful tribe of artists.
9. Making people happy with my paper swap project.
10. Seeing my daughter playing in the snow like an Eskimo.

See you all next week! Thanks for your comments!

Wishcasting 13.1.

2010-01-12T23:21:00.000-08:00

How do you wish to shine?

There is this vision of a lighthouse, I have now or then, when thinking of me in blogland. I don’t know why. I often think, this is a far to big image for me, but subconciously it comes to me sometimes and I like it.
The 360° view over the sea. To be a guide in rough times. To be the steady light guiding others home.

So I wish to shine like a lighthouse.
That’s all.

Photo from Flickr (click to see source)

Wishcasting for the last time in 2009

2009-12-29T23:14:00.000-08:00

The question today is „What do you wish for 2010?“.

2009 was a wonderful year for me. Maybe because it’s the one in which I was 6x7 years old, which combines two of my favorite numbers.
Now I have started a new „period of 7“ (we call this a Jahrsiebt, I don’t know the exact term in English). And in the end, I will reach the 7x7, which is very magical!

So 2009 was full of wonderful things:

A new love
New people via internet
Blogging
New Art
Lots of ideas and inspirations
Wreck this journal
My „one tribe-one heart“ project
My „paper swap“ project
Learning to write in English
A much too cold, but also very joyful summer
The feeling to belong to a tribe
And that there are so many lovely people outside there

I just wish for 2010, that this will continue on, that this will be another year full of art, friends, love, laughter, inspiration, tribe-feeling, blogging, swaping, getting in touch.

I also wish that the world will become a better place for all of us: more love, more light, more understanding and more peace! May we all open our hearts to see, that we are all one!

Wishing for you, my dear readers, a wonderful, bountiful, artful and blessed year 2010!

PS: Paper Swap #3 will start in a couple of days, if you wish to join, just click here! We are 49 people by now. Who wants to be number 50?

Wishcasting Wednesday

2009-12-15T21:18:00.000-08:00

What do you wish to give?

Yes the time is right for such a question.
I’m not the real Christmas Fan, but this year it was nice to pack up things for my oversea friends. It was lovely.

But besides all that, it’s just a completely other thing, I want to give.
It’s inspiration.
I just wanted to give people inspiration to seek for their own hidden artists, their own hidden spirituality.
That’s so wonderful about doing astrology (which is my profession), you can tell people things, they ever have known from the inside, but sometimes never dared living out.
Sometimes they only need a little push, a little „you can do it, I know that“. And when you tell them: „It’s on your chart, I can see it!“ they smile and feel a great release.
Most people start crying then, because it goes so deep.
I like that. I like touching people like that.

I want to give others the feeling of „you are ok, feel yourself connected, you are important“. I think everyone needs that and we all have so much in us, but many times in our lives, we are simply not asked for the things, we can give. So many of us just hide their real generous selfs in a shell.

So if you found comfort, inspiration, connection, good vibes while reading my blog, I am happy and have the feeling, that’s why I am doing this. And even if it’s only one person, who says: „This meant so much to me“, it was worth all the work!
Thank you!

Wishcasting Wednesday Dec, 9

2009-12-08T22:56:00.000-08:00

What is your spirit wishing for?

The first thing that came to my mind was: Connection.

In fact, that’s what internet is all about for me. To be online is to be on-line, on a line, which means a thread, which means being part of the (world wide) web.

„All things are connected, like the blood which unites one family.
We do not weave the web of life.
We are but a strand in the web of life.
What we do to the web we do to ourselves.
All things are connected.“

We all know this. It’s from Chief Seattle.

For most of the time of my life, I feel somehow disconnected. I was always looking at the people around me and I felt so far away from what they thought and feel. I am the only child in a family of two very down-to-earth parents. (My two brothers were born so late, that I feel no connection. I was leaving home, when the first was 5 and the second 1 year old)
In school I was standing apart, because nothing that interested others, was interesting me. I felt so spiritual, but I had no name for it. I felt so alien, with my strange Italian name, my interests in art and reading.
And I don’t feel German at all. This country is not my home, it never has been, it never will be. I was 3 years old, when I left my place of birth: Berlin. When I came back 30 years later I was a stranger in a town, that has completely changed (the wall etc.). Then my child was born and I came here and here I am again a stranger, the former GDR was a completely different country, and it still is.
Does this feel like home? No, not really.

It‘s here in global village were I feel connected. And my wish is to have this feeling of being at home, lovingly support and being assumed a little longer. As long as I need it.
I wish to feel, that this web carries me. And I wish to find a place or a person, that gives me the feeling to be coming home at least.

Wishcasting Wednesday: Winter

2009-12-01T21:50:00.000-08:00

Instead of a wish, I have made a list of the good and beautiful things of winter:

Snow!
The silence of the land covered with snow
Being wrapped up in wool
Listen to funny Xmas songs
My daughter making a snowman in the garden
Frosty nights with lots of stars
Robins in the garden with bloodred breasts
Going into a new year
A winter forest, the branches heavy with snow
The sound the snow makes, when you are walking through
Lightening candels
Mittens and scarfs
„And a partridge in a pear tree“
Watching old movies on Xmas
New year’s eve
Dressing up the Xmas tree together with a child
Glittering ice
Making bisquits
Vivaldi’s „The winter“
The colors of sunrise in January

Watching „Dinner for one“ on New year’s eve
Feeding the birds outside
Frozen ponds
Seeing children with sleighs
Looking back on the old year and making plans for the new
My daughter’s birthday (January, 3.)
Seeing the bags of my „One tribe-one heart“ project in the bare tree
Last blooming flowers in December
Deers and roes in the woods
Icicle
Drinking cocoa with cinnemon
Memories of the summer
Furry boots
Knitting on the long winter evenings while listening to a radio play
The smell of oranges and tangerines
Being happy about every single sunbeam
Watching the little bird traces in the snow

I wish that we all cherish the treasures of winter!

The joy diet: Feast, feast, feast, feast...

2009-11-26T20:51:00.001-08:00

The last chapter of „The joy diet“ was really good. Martha Beck mentioned a lot of important things, like the madness of diets, the importants to use all your senses in daily life and create a kind of beauty all around you.

I just love the story with the misread advice in the plane: feast, feast, feast, feast...
In fact beauty feasts are my daily bread. I am always looking for beauty. I always cherish small things, nature things mostly and arrange them in the house.
I have so many small „altars“ of beauty in our house: at my desk, on my shelfs, in my studio etc..

Coming to the gratitude list, on my German blog I have made a daily gratitude post for more than a month. People loved the postings and some did the same. It’s so good to keep an eye on the good and beautiful things in life. I’m just reading Barbara Ann Kipfer’s book „14.000 things to be happy about“, and above the fact that she finds Bifocals, rug shampoo, the NASA and waiting in lines are things to make her happy, it’s a great book to see the wonders of each day.
I started my own book to write down all the good things.

Here my gratitude list:

I am grateful for...

...the house I am living in, it’s old and a bit shabby, but it’s mine and peaceful and coming home is always such a great thing
...my daughter Svea, because she is the best teacher I ever had and such an inspiration

...books, my life would be sad without them, each one has a world on its own inside, a world one can live in for a while
...art and art supplies, it’s wonderful to use all the colors and papers and all that stuff
...wool and felt, there is nothing that is more useful and beautiful than wool: it keeps you warm, it’s smells lovely, it feels good to be wrapped in, it’s soft, it’s comforting, it takes toxic substances out of your house, it has lovely colors and you can do so many things with it

...global village, because it’s lovely to get to know so many exciting people and it’s so good to connect
...blogging because it’s a great way to communicate, share your life with others, show your art, get inspirated, exchange things
...English, because it’s a language of beauty and it reveals more and more treasures, as I am getting deeper and deeper into it and I love to use it
...trees, because nothing can root you quicker and refresh your body, mind and soul, than hugging a tree or sitting under it or just even look on one
...my dog Neelix, because he’s the most friendly and true guy on planet earth
...“Wreck this journal“, because for me there is nothing more relaxing than to use this book, it’s easy, it’s fun, it’s inspirating and it was a doorway to many new things, a doorway to this blogging group too!

...book blogging groups, because it’s a pleasure to read a book and than share it with others, I send all of you a big hug and I hope we will read each other when the next book journey begins, I’m looking forward to it,

all the best from LaWendula

The joy diet: Connection

2009-11-19T21:32:00.001-08:00

Ok, reading the first passage in chapter „connection“, I thought: „Baby, what do you think we all are doing? Hm? Do you think we all sit in our house with nothing else on our daily schedule than to follow steps 1-8 of the joy diet?! Doing nothing than moving over to truth, desire etc. etc.

But all in all this chapter was much better than the last one. The story about Chloe (p. 182) was very interesting and thought provoking.

Connection is an important thing. In fact it’s what I am always saying, the whole thing after the www, the real reason why this was invented is connection, communication. These are the days we all need to find our soultribe members (caution: the esoteric side in me is awakening!), it’s true!
Have you ever had this feeling to know somebody very well, that you only know through e-mails or blog posts?
Have you ever felt this emotion of being held by a strong network?
Are you enjoying your blogfriends? E-mail pals? This book blogging group?
Well I am!
I feel so connected all the time. In fact it is a way for me to live better, to turn away from crowded cities and all the stress and the rush and sit here peacefully in my little house and connect via internet.

I always like exercises with real emotions. As the first one on p. 191. Not thoughts, feelings! Is a good reminder. I recognized, that I am always seeking excuses, when I have a strange feeling about someone. I tend to say: Oh, maybe he/she has just a bad day or No wonder, he has gone through big pain, when his wife left him.
But then I see, that I have also gone through bad days, rough times, depression and health disasters, but I am not rude to people, I am not neglecting friends for weeks, I am not running away from a conversation.
So I learn to trust my gut feelings more. Just the feelings. „I don’t like that guy, he is rude, he is a big dazzler, I just don’t feel good, when he enters my house.“ And not: „Maybe he is shy inside. Maybe his mother did not love him enough.“

I really found out, that it’s a bad habit, this always telling myself: You are not allowed to feel that. (Nobody feels that, it’s ridiculous, pull yourself together, it’s not polite to say that.)
And the most difficult topic in life is motherhood! Yes. You can tell people everything, that you are f....up with your partner or even your parents, but coming to motherhood, you always have to be nice, willing, smiling while being on duty and always giving up your own needs.
And I am always surrounded by mothers who just LOVE to be mothers. Is this only a big lie?
Come on, tell me, you mothers, reading this: Motherhood is not always sunshine and candy, isn’t it?

So that’s what I got out of chapter „connection“, I need to stand by my feelings.

Thank you Tammy for the wonderful freebie photo!
Click on pic to see the other credits on Flickr.

The joy diet: Laughter

2009-11-12T21:01:00.000-08:00

I think Martha Beck and I have a totally different sense of humor. This was in fact one of the chapters, that ran completely out of any gems for me.
And this is not because I have no sense of humour!
In fact I laugh a lot. I was so confused by a pen pal, who wrote me one day she only laughs once or twice a month. I could not believe that. Days without laughter are a very rare thing for me. And I like black humour, I like everyday‘s sit com. (I hate the ones on TV)
I am always quoting funny lines out of books and films or I really have a good laugh on browsing through strange websites.
(Google translate will always does it for me!) Or take a look here, just fabulous for a laugh.
But I will not make laughs at anybody’s misfortune or handicap, race, religion or whatever. I don’t laugh about drag queens shaking their butts. Or about anyone slipping on a banana peel.
I hate all these videos showing people with collapsing tables at garden parties or toddlers splashing head over heels into pools etc..
And I don’t like fake laughter. We all fake so much. This can’t be the way.

Talking of the jokes, I really don’t like the example, Beck mentioned on page 163, I know this is supposed to be „the funniest joke in the world“. But I don’t find this funny at all.
I know a lot of good jokes, but they all are about word games, that I cannot translate into English. But one joke is one of my favorits:

A woman meets a fairy, who tells her: „You have one free wish!“
The woman says: „Thin thighs!“
The fairy furrows her brow: „Hey, look what the world’s like outside and you wish thin thighs????“
The woman thinks for a moment, than she says: „You are absolutely right: Thin thighs for everyone!“

And another one, I like:
(it’s from a time when computers were as big as closets)
A group of software engineers has invented a strategy computer. They want to sell this to a general, who makes a test run.
He feeds the computer with all data about a war and asks the question: „Attack or withdrawl?“
The computer starts to calculate, all blinking lights, it takes about half an hour and then it says: „YES“ on the screen.
„Yes what?“ the General enters.
The computer starts to calculate again, all blinking lights, it takes 10 minutes....20 minutes...then the screen says:
„Yes, Sir!“

Ok, do you want an example for my black humor? I like the cartoon I once saw in a magazine:
You see Prince Harry in his room with Nazi signs everywhere and a picture of Hitler on his computer screen and so on.
Prince Charles enters the room and says: „Son, I am deeply shocked! You have snaped off some of my roses!“

So that was that.

Silly? Hm... I find it hard to agree on that too. I don’t find it very funny to say words in silly voices. But one thing I remembered, when Beck wrote about silly walks: Monty Python’s „Ministry of silly walks“.

I totally agree with MB, that you should laugh as much as possible. It makes life easier. It makes you feel good. It’s a wonderful thing to do with others.
But it can shift into something very annoying, if you use other people’s bad luck, handicaps or shames for that.
So I really did not like the pages 173/174.
I think, Martha Beck has never been to Mecklenburg in Germany, where you can see one of the poorest areas in Europe. What she makes her laughs at „haha, I will never pay the rent and my children will land on the street...“ is reality here. Reality in many countries btw. And thinking of all the many many homeless people her own country has, I think she should think twice before writing! Maybe she should read this loud in front of a black community in let’s say...New Orleans?!

And I don’t think it’s a good thing to make jokes on your misfortune, because your subconscious doesn’t know that this is ironical.

Anyway, I wish you all a week full of laughter! Real belly laughs! And a great time! (If you just switch over the woven letters, maybe you will find a good laughter, while looking for your starsign!)

Layer : Boccacino
Photo: Karen

The joy diet: Play

2009-11-05T21:31:00.000-08:00

The more I dive into the book, the more I understand, this is not the Joy diet, but the joy buffett, just choose what looks good/interesting/juicy to you and don’t worry about the rest.
There are many things, I just find strange, clumsy written and for me not true (the 9-11-chapter was just as useless as the enemy-thing), but there are always tiny clues, that are worth the reading.

From the chapter PLAY I picked two things:

First the sentence: „You will have had a brilliantly successfull career, even if you never make a dime.“ (page 138)
Pang! Bong! Wow!
That was the lightning I needed. In fact I am doing lots of things I love. I write (I always wanted to be a writer), I make things (with felt and wool), I help people to find their way (with astrology), I make art, I write journals, I share artmaking with my daughter, I connect people, I inspire them, I’m getting inspired, I am building a network, I’m improving my English..so what a wonderful career, although I would never call it one, because of the simple reason: I don’t make much money with it, in fact nearly nothing. And I have never dared before to say: I am successfull. So I know, I needed this sentence, just as a wet dog needs a good rub with a towel.

Second: mouse vision, eagle vision. (page 147)
A very helpfull thing to imagine. Shifting between these two positions is a good thing. Sometimes you are the eagle, you can see far and clearly, what things do mean in your life and why you choose this and that.
Sometimes you are the mouse, just focussing on the next piece of cheese or a little bit of bread to stay alive for the next days.

Have a great week!
And if you want to join the Paper Swap, please click on the icon on the right side. Thanks!

The joy diet Week 6: Treats

2009-10-30T00:57:00.000-07:00

It’s funny, because in Germany what you earn is „Lohn“ and the treats are „BeLOHNungen“, so very close to the Lohn, don’t you think? It must be connected. And you should have both!

Even when I was younger, I always used treats to keep my spirits alive. When I had a bad day at school, I drived into town and bought myself something small, a scented pencil with rosebuds on it, a new tea blend or some other small things.

I have a real affection for small things. The little ones, the ones you can look over so quickly. Whenever I regocnize something I really would love to have and I cannot afford it, I try to buy the small version of it. For example, I know a woman who makes wonderful handwoven shirts. But they are quite expensive. And I cannot make a swap with her, because she needs money and she makes handknitted things herself. Every now and then I visit her studio, I browse through her lovely clothes and I am always aware, I can’t spend $150 on a shirt. So one day, I ask: „Have you some leftovers from your fabrics?“ She: „Sure!“ and she handed me a wonderful assortment of different patches from her fabrics, one as big as a table cloth. I wanted to pay her something, but she refuses. And back at home I started to sew pouches out of it. So I now have wonderful little bags and pouches, filled with lavender, made out of handwoven fabric for free!
And I am happy.

I really love small things, that are beautifully made, like handmade buttons out of olive wood. Or knitting needles, made of left overs from musical instruments. Like funny postcards for free, in Germany you can find them in restaurants and bars in big cities. And some of them are really artful.
I think, to cherish the small things, is what’s really behind the concepts of treats.

But now away from things that can be bought to things, that makes me smile, back to the „Joy diet“. I really had to laugh when reading the sentence: „If you discover you never feel like smiling at all, you don’t need the „Joy Diet“, you need serious help.“

So here my ten smile catalysts:

1. Birds, birds, birds, in nature, in art, I love birds
2. Online projects that are connecting people
3. The sea side
4. Wonderful music
5. Wool, its smell, its touch
6. Nice mails, nice comments
7. A smile from others
8. Children’s drawings
9. New books
10. Wild flowers

About the salient virtues

1. People often compliment me on my ability to
Write and be creative

2. I am proud that I have the discipline to
Get up early in the moring

3. I am more virtuous than other people when it comes to
Talking
and wrecking journals *lol*

4. Even when I don’t feel it I always try to be
Positive and fair

Wherever you are today, who ever you are: give yourself a real nice treat and don’t forget to cherish the small things!

PS: The photo shows a little treat for me: buttons from Vozamer

The fifth week of the „Joy Diet“: Risks

2009-10-22T13:40:00.000-07:00

I decided that one topic a week is too fast for me. So I have not practised RISK (in fact TRUTH is something I am still clinging too), but I want to share some thoughts on that.

Some advices from Martha I cannot support: Don’t go strolling around in dangerous areas!!!! (Why should one anyway?)

But on the other hand, when I was in Berlin, the Underground station where I must change trains was said to be one of the most dangerous Underground stations in Germany. Full of junkies, full of violence, dark, filthy and cold. Which was true, but it wasn’t more dangerous than any other Underground station.
I had the choice: either to stay home or to take that risk of getting off at a dangerous station. When I tried this first, I was very nervous, but then I found out, that the nightcruisers on that station were very much the same as I was: simply people who have been out for cinema, cafés, restaurants, party, dancing. On their way home.
And after some weeks, I felt really safe. I followed two rules: 1. I was always walking with dignity and pride, not making myself small, I sent out the danger sign: Don’t mess around with me. 2. I never left without my cell phone.
But I won’t give any woman the advice to risk walking in really dangerous areas during the night.

The other thing are social risks.
In fact I am always afraid, that I am over-the-top with emotions. I like to touch people, I like hugs and kisses, I like wild emotions, I like to express all what I feel. But I have lived through a lot of rejection. (See last week’s post)
But meanwhile –lucky me- I found out, not me is the one over-the-top, I only live in the wrong country.
There is a common agreement between Germans, that you must hold yourself back, maybe because of the word „SIE“, we say „SIE“ to strangers, instead of „DU“ (you). And it’s always hard to decide, when „SIE“ changes into the „DU“-Form. „SIE“ is impersonal. You don’t hug anybody you call „SIE“, you don’t be open to a „SIE“-person. The rules are: The elder one says if you can change to the you-level. Or the one who is higher in position. As long as „SIE“ is spoken by both, there is such a distance. I don’t like it. Why should we keep to this? So many countries don’t!
Another thing is the common agreement on „I don’t want to show anybody my affection, you might not deserve it“! What a crap!!! Why must one deserve it? It’s sympathy, that’s al! You see anyone, you like him, you show him that. What else? „Oh no, he might not deserve it! He seems to be such a nice guy, but maybe he is a devil in disguise! So I will keep the distance.“
And I tell you a secret: Germans think all Americans (British people, Australian etc.) are superficial and false in their feelings, „what’s all this hugging and kissing about, all this „baby“ and „darling“ calling...“. But I LOVE it. Because it’s so ME!!!

Back to risks. One thing I want to risk in life is travelling alone to NY. It’s expensive, it might be dangerous, I might get lost, there are certain areas where you never may go etc..
My baby steps forward to that:

- as much information about NY I can get
- getting to know people who live there
- asking the Universe for the (money for the) journey
- positive affirmations: I will love it there!
- Self-confidence
- Improving my English more and more

My daughter (7) helped me to do the collage above. The heart was her idea.
Brides, heart and tag from Karen @ http://graphicsfairy.blogspot.com/
Texture from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8078381@N03/
Thank you both!